How Bisexual Couples Should Go About Looking For A Threesome

The mere idea of having a threesome with your partner can be both exhilarating and terrifying.

It sounds simple enough - have sex with your partner but include a third person in there. And the fact that you're both bisexual should make the process easier. Well, not exactly.

In theory, yes, you can plan the entire scene and fantasize about how steamy and perfect it would be. But in reality, you're dealing with three thinking and feeling human beings with real emotions. You can't be entirely sure of what to expect.

bisexual couples and unicorn

Make Sure You're On The Same Page

For starters, ensure that both you and your partner have agreed to go ahead with this new sexual experience and be open about your feelings and discomforts. If either of you (or both of you) are rushing to make the threesome happen while ignoring any uncomfortable feelings that surface, you're probably not ready for one. You must explore and confront emotional blocks that come up during your pursuit of a threesome.

If there are existing problems in your relationship, tackle those first before attempting a threesome. This new sexual experience will not solve existing problems and can damage your relationship further. Keep the two of you in mind going into this experience and make sure you're on solid ground. This way, the threesome will help multiply the love you feel for one another.

Tips to Find a Third

Once you're sure that the two of you are ready to start exploring, use these tips to help find your third.

Start Looking at Other People

Now that you've agreed on exploring, take things slowly, at a pace that you're comfortable with. Go out on dates and look around for potential partners.

Before approaching anyone, notice people around you and talk about how you feel about a particular person. Do both of you find them attractive? Is it alright if only one of you is attracted to them? How do you feel about your partner being intimate with this person that you're looking for?

Answering these questions will give you a more in-depth insight into what you're comfortable with before you take more severe action.

Use the Internet

Finding a unicorn (third person in a threesome) can be difficult as people willing to fill the position are rare (hence the term unicorn). The internet can help expedite the process by putting you directly in touch with people looking to have the same experience.

Adult Friend Finder

AdultFriendFinder is a handy website to go through when you're looking for a third for your threesome. You can browse through several profiles of people who share a similar interest or are looking for the same kind of sexual adventures that you are.

Feeld

Feeld was initially known as 3ndr, quite literally "Tinder" for threesomes. The app started explicitly for couples and singles looking to have threesomes. However, now, Feeld is a platform that offers people the chance for non-normative sexual experiences that can be quite fulfilling.

X-Match

This site is a great way to start as the site provides couples a "shopping-like" experience to foster fun conversation. It can help start conversations about X-rated topics with your significant other without the usual heaviness or discomfort that follows such communication.

Of course, the internet is limited in its ability to make genuine connections with people, and it's best that you and your significant other still meet the person you're planning to sleep with. Going on a threesome date before might seem awkward, but it makes the sexual act itself a lot less terrifying.

Allow Your Unicorn to Decide

When you finally find a third and bring up the topic with them, you have to communicate what you're looking for clearly.

Let them know that you're bisexual and that you would like for everyone to be intimate during the act. If bisexual couples have some rules about what's allowed and what's taboo, tell your unicorn so that they're aware. You want to minimize the number of surprises during a threesome.

Talking about these details will allow your third to decide if they are comfortable and give them the option of saying "yes" while being fully aware of the implications and expectations.

To some, it may feel like spoiling the allure and sexiness of a threesome, but this is an essential step to ensure everyone is healthy, happy, and comfortable.

Ask About Their Boundaries

You want to ask your third about any boundaries they would like to preserve during a threesome. You must stick to these boundaries and respect their wants and needs as a person. You may have been fantasizing for months about this threesome, but your third is still a human being with emotions and feelings that must be honored.

Play With The Edge of Your Discomfort

When engaging in a threesome, you must honor your discomforts. For example, if you feel uncomfortable when your partner kissing the third person in front of you, test the limits of your discomfort and stop there. If kissing makes you uncomfortable, it would be unwise to tell your partner that you're okay with penetration and allow them to do whatever they want.

Have A Safe Word

These are the few steps to find a third person for your threesome. Before you engage in the actual act, the three of you may want to agree on a safe word that anyone can use if they are feeling overly uncomfortable. This safe word will help you come back to the moment, and you can discuss how to proceed from there.

Remember that while this experience is exciting, confusing, complicated, and fun for you and your partner, it's just as profound for the third person. Respect their wants and needs, establish a clear line of communication, and agree to meet and connect as people after the act. It will ensure that the experience is fulfilling and satisfying to everyone involved.